Monthly Statement:
March 2006
Ever since I was almost arrested on the subway I have started keeping my California State driver license in the only place my new shorts allow for valid form of identification to be kept. It will be a joy and a pleasure to present the option of information exchange for an indirect genital contact. Police officers have ranged from pleasant to just down right fuckers. While accumulating at Times Square I was approached by a pair of officers whom after asking were I was from and if I was on or off an medication told me to leave because I was drawing a crowd. At Madison Square Garden, a female officer, after asking what I thought I was doing out there, demanded my identification. I told her I didn’t have it on me and she proceeded to explain that I needed my I.D. on me at all times. I asked her why this was so and with a straight face she asked me that if I were to be blown up in a terrorist attack, how would my family be able to identify my body. Not asking her how exactly my plasticized driver’s license would survive my own vaporization, I told her that when I left home to collect opinions about my body I hadn’t any visions of my family collecting my body after my fiery death. Then, still very straight faced, she told me that I shouldn’t be so naïve and to leave from what she subtly hinted at was an at-risk-terror-site. This project was never intended to be me crusading against the NYPD, rather body image and beauty standards, but they all seem to be linked. It is alarming how disingenuous the NYPD conduct can be when sighting penal codes that don’t exist or loosely interpreting the law to connect my accumulations with terror risks. I guess people are just really sensitive about the semi-nude human body. At this point I will just be keeping my I.D. close at hand.

PORT AUTHORITY 03/04/06
YES 46
NO 54
IGNORED 67

VENICE BEACH 03/18/06
YES 39
NO 64
IGNORED 54

MUSEUM OF MODERN ART 03/24/06
YES 49
NO 52
IGNORED 84

THE WHITNEY MUSEUM 03/31/06
YES 59
NO 47
IGNORED 77

Notable Story:
I was having a rather slow night while accumulating at the Whitney Biannual Friday Free Night. Maybe there was something in the air. The energy the performance usually has, just wasn’t there. It also wasn’t in the Whitney. Whatever it was I couldn’t really place it. This was nipped in the butt when I bumped into Omar and his entourage. Omar was very excited about the project and myself and we had what I like to call an Upper-East-Side-Street-Transmogrification, and then Hazaa chatting like estranged college chums. During this chumming Omar mentioned that his friend Jacquie had just been given a rock, pointing to her weighted finger. To this I was excited to reply that I had that day become a member of the New York City Clergy to marry my housemates Sam and Bruno. An “oh really” eyebrow shot up and I was invited to perform another wedding ceremony, which was delightful and I would like to wish the happy couple another Hazaa!

Process: On the streets and in a variety of public places I will approach people asking them the question, "Do I have the Perfect Body?"